breakdown

even the best doctor needs a help.
even the best counselor needs help too.

and even me, who also needs a help.

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semua orang akan ada masa mereka breakdown. ada masa yang mana mereka akan jatuh tersungkur menyembah bumi Tuhan.

dan masa tu, the most needed thing is, mereka yang sudi mendengar dan terus mendengar.
aku pun macam tu.
i just need someone to listen to all my thought.
even it might be wrong, but at least, listen.
correct it later, because at that moment, I just need someone to lend me their ears.

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however,
this trust issues thingy never leave me,
I keep on thinking that me, wanted people to hear me out , just only can cause them trouble.
thinking that I might be a burden is totally abused my mental health.

physically normal, but mentally not.

I might seen easily to smile whenever all those silly things jokes happen, but then, honestly, it is just my fake things .
i can even know how to smile properly, sincerely.

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i had enough.
enough to care about others that only seem like, "why bother ?'' faces to me.

i just realise that, it is okay if I take steps away from others. they don't even bother.
but then,
i do hate myself. who always keep on hurting me.
how can I ?