recover.

Bismillah

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious and the most Merciful 

I used to be in one situation where I decided to not wear watch anymore. it happened when I lost the watch that Ayah give to me as a present. when I lost the watch, I totally sad like I already lost something that so so precious to me. yes, maybe, for another person, it is just a watch, but not for me.

Ayah bought that watch used his money and I lost it. starting that day, I said to Ayah, don't buy anything anymore for me, i.e watch. because I think I can't bare anymore if I lost it twice.

Ibu said this to me, if the time comes to lost, it will lost. yes, I know that. but, it is just me who hardly to handle the feeling when I lost something that so precious for me. I will blame my self for being so careless about my things.

but then, after a year from that incident, I had one thought that, you can't be like this forever. so I change that mind setting in my mind. if it is hard for me to accept a gift from Ayah, then I should buy it myself. with my own money. so then, if lets say Allah wants it to lost again, I won't feel that sad anymore. because, it is from my money, not Ayah or Ibu. right ? haha

and I think the analogy can be adapt in my life when I decided to move on from my feeling. love is something that Allah grant to His slave to keep on loving each other, spread the good vibes to bring the goodness in this world.

if love hurts you, maybe you just put your loves in a wrong way. because, love never be something that can hurts us. Allah loves us, He won't give something that will hurts us. so, it is us who misused what Allah already give to us.

so, instead of putting our love to someone that we don't sure about it, how about try to put love for ourselves. love ourselves and spread it to people around us.

as I don't want Ayah to used his money to by stuff for me , (because I scared that I will lost it again) , I bought it (i.e watch) used my money.

as I don't want to be hurt by others, I learn to love myself again.

I don't know if you people who read this can understand my analogy or not, but at least, when I can pour all this thought in here, I guess, I am alright.

ps : finally I can move forward from my feeling and alhamdulilah Im getting better day by day.
jazakallah khair for those who make du'as for me, may Allah grant all of you with the fullness in dunya and akhirah. amin.