know your worth.

few day ago, something happens.

something that makes me open my eyes, to see the truth, the real thing that I really really should face it with brave.

feelings is the ultimate thing that really hard to controls. it also include with  love, hate, like and more. 

something that can change someone in the blink of eyes. and yes, it is totally can be a big deal if we can't handle it well. 

I asked my self, 

''it hurts, right?''

yes.

''wanna to cry ?''

no.

''why?''

because, when I think it a back, maybe, this is what Allah wants me to acknowledge. Allah wants me to realise that 'this is what I want to show you. I want you to be strong because the upcoming tests for you is far beyond this things. you will go through this. all this thing shall pass. you did great, I know. '

Allah knows well. more than I know. and everything happens for a reason.

He wants to show me that he is not the one that Allah already choose for me. Allah wants me to have patient because the time is not come yet. 

I really want to rely everything that in my heart to You because I know that You are the one who hold my heart. so please, hold this heart until the right time. 

I realise that before this, I had been waves by this feeling that I felt. I thought that he is the one that You choose for me, but then, it is not. 

even how happy I was back then, it is still wrong. and right is right even no one do that and wrong still wrong even everyone do that. 

so yes, I am wrong. 

I thought that I am right, but then I realise that all of this is just feel don't right. 

forgive me Allah, for thinking that my feeling is mine while it is actually Yours. 

forgive me.